| Munky man | 12:24am Thu 6th Jan 2011 |
161 posts
|
Why don't you try one of these:
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello". I will cut my hair. I will grow my hair. I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks! I will be more imaginative. I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more exciting excuses. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly.... I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store. Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush. Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy. I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom. I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars. I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven't cleaned it more than once in the last year. I will always wear clean underwear, "just in case". Read less books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head. Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you. Watch more TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years. Draw up a list of people who were nasty to you in the past year, get your own back on them in the next year! Drink more. Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy. Eat more nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables and soy nuts. Work less. Take it easy. All work and no play can make you a dull boy or girl. Take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs. I will drink less, last year I drank enough to have kept the Titanic afloat. I will drive more carefully, people are starting to notice the dozens of dents in my car. I will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports. I resolve not to call any phone number of any TV contest as they are always kept off the hook. I resolve not to swim in any swimming pool without water. Learn what the hell "resolution" means. I promise to stick to these resolutions for more than a week (even though I never do). |
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